Something changed for me in 2024, and I'm finally talking about it.

My version of an "intro" post.

In 2024, my soul started it’s journey to enlightenment. In 2025, my entire being was cracked wide-fucking open in a way it’s never been before. I almost broke, several times.

This is my journey to becoming, that I haven’t told - because it’s fucking scary to be this vulnerable. And tell a story I haven’t even really told to those closest to me.

See, what people tell you on spiritual community groups on Facebook and in books on manifestation is that your spiritual awakening is beautiful, a moment of surrender, “touch grass for the first time with your bare feet and you’ll feel close to godliness”. If that’s true for you, then I am SO glad for you.

But for me, it felt like I was being tested, over and over again. At first, it was little things - changing the way I react to every day annoyances. But over time, I got better at that and the universe decided to push me in ways that I felt (at that time) would threaten my very existence. That’s when the magic happened. In that moment, it felt like I might never get out of that darkness, but don't let that scare you away from delving head-first into your own awakening, because that was the beginning of my life now. Which honestly, feels like magic most days (even when I forget to be grateful for it).

So, who am I? My names Ellaina, I've lived in Australia my entire life. I met my now husband when I was only 15. We were married at 24 and had our first son at 25, our second when I was 26. I’ve worked in the same field for nearly a decade now.

I am a projector (human design iykyk), which means I need a lot of rest and time to recoup which is incredibly hard in today’s world with two kids. (Yeah, yeah us millennials are shunning hustle culture but let’s not pretend it’s still not the expectation in a normal 9-5!).

I initially decided to start writing on Substack for fun but eventually I realised (with the help of my team of spirit guides) that my purpose for being here on our beautiful earth was more than that. It was to help effect change in this world. We are on our way to the new paradigm, and we need to shift and evolve our focus and attention or we will be left behind. I know that can be super hard to hear and a bit doomsday-esque but don’t worry, my team (spirit guides, archangels and Seraphims) have you totally covered - you are COMING to the new paradigm with us, OK?!

I have always been incredibly shy, and have had a deep love of writing. I actually studied journalism at university before my logical brain took over and realised that the possibility of getting a job in the field was slight and pivoted (limited thinking much lol). So Substack feels like a coming home to my most authentic self.

OKK so you came for the story that I mentioned above. Let’s go.

In September 2024, I welcomed by second beautiful baby boy into this world. During my postpartum time spent scrolling on insta and listening to podcasts while rocking a baby to sleep on my chest, I discovered Kabbalah. Now the sages of Kabbalah say that each new baby brings blessings. Now I see why.

I started a Kabbalah course by David Ghiyam. I was 20 minutes into the first video when I paused it, and convinced my husband to join me. Just *TWENTY* minutes in, I knew this wisdom would change my life in a monumental way.

For the first time in my life, I realised that I was choosing for my life to be hard. Yep, reread that (and if it offends you, read it twice). A mentor of mine told me that everything in life is just a circumstance. Trust me, if someone had told me that while I was deep in the shit of some of the hardest times of my life, I would have excommunicated them straight way; and if that’s you, I completely understand and I wish you so many incredible blessings in your life and future to come.

Within a week of starting to practice Kabbalah I started to literally feel high (like I had been perpetually smoking pot for a week). Navigating every day life through the lens of gratitude for the first time in my life, changed my life in ways that I could not even fathom at the time. I started to believe in MIRACLES (which outside of Jesus turning water into wine was completely and utterly foreign to me at that time).

Fast forward six months and I found myself in a daily mental breakdown. See, during the time of what we’ll call the Kabbalistic enlightenment - a lot happened. We manifested the perfect block of land to build the perfect home to live. It all happened in perfect timing and for the perfect price. But when we went to sell our existing property - despite me trialling the best delulu manifesting techniques my baby-awakened brain could find. CRICKETS. We could not sell our house. It was supposed to be a four week campaign, finished with an auction. It took 3 months, and on the last day of that three months we sold the house for almost 80k less than market value.

We were banking on that money, we had designed our new house with that budget in mind. So because of this loss, we were now had an additional 80k on our mortgage.

But what really caused me to spiral, was trying to start my own business. See, what I didn’t know at the time about trusting spirits guidance was that you can’t predict what’s in your highest and best. Spirit (aka universe) has it’s own plans for your life, and they are going to be 10x better than what you expected. The best you can do is follow the messages and guidance you receive from the universe and detach from it at that point. I however, did not detach.

I was so, incredibly attached to the idea of starting my own marketing business and achieving 20k months that I strangled the very plan before my eyes. Every day I would wake up thinking, I can’t go back to my 9-5 job (more on that story later). I need this to work. I need it work. I need it to work. I came across some incredible opportunities during this time, including some human design readings. These incredible ladies told me that this business is going against everything I came to this earth to achieve, and I laughed it off and said I'll do it anyway. I’ll just keep working and working until it’s done, until I'm there, until I'm earning the money the instagram coaches keep telling me I can. It never happened.

I’m not going to repeat the story as you can read it here: How I manifested over 200k.

But eventually, through a lot of pain I got to where I needed to be.

Since then, I've learnt that pain isn’t the only way to achieve a spiritual awakening. But know this, if you are experiencing a high amount of pain - it’s the fastest method of cleansing your soul that the universe has. I know it feels immense and mind-boggling and you might break if it continues for even just one more second, but in the end I promise you’ll get it. You’ll get exactly why you had to go through it all in the end.

So, back to this present day. I’ve spent the last year recouping from this experience and continuing with my spiritual awakening in the most incredible way. I have been able to remember psychic and mediumship gifts that I could only once dream of having. Read: “remember”, because we all have magical abilities from our days in Atlantis innately within our soul, we only need to remember them.

I’m also in my era of leaning into my authenticity. I know I am of this world, not in this world. I know that what I busy myself with day to day to survive in our constructed 3D world is just that, a social construct that us humans have created.

This, this work on Substack is what my highest self is calling me to do. I know this is where I need to be. My only goal, expectation and reason for being here is that I help as many souls I can on their path to evolution. I know spirit is going to help me reach an audience larger than I could ever expect, maybe on Substack - maybe not. But as I retrospectively consider this fact as I write in real time - my guidance to you for this week (as I end all of my posts paid and unpaid) is that you start to practice following the pings (as Lacy Phillips would say) of the universe. No matter what calls, signs or little nudges you get this week - follow them. Even if it’s just walking in a different direction, or sitting a moment longer to listen to the call of a songbird. There’s a reason, even if you never logically know why - your soul will.

Tell me what guidance you’re being called to follow in the comments, I am so excited to hear about how the consciousness of the universe is guiding our collective to experience true abundance in our lives.

With the highest love and light,

Ellaina x

P.S. This is my first post of my new era on Substack, where I am owning my shit and the person I came to this earth to be. So I would subscribe, because this collective is about to level up.

Photo by Michael Held on Unsplash